Dual....:-)
did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
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