My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
Randomize
