I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
Randomize
