Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
Someone signed my nipple.
Randomize
