fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
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