thus making me awesome and them whores
He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
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