i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
and then I drunkenly screamed, "you can ride that Uber all the way to revenge city!"
which was funny until I realized I paid for my enemy's cab to go fuck my ex
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
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