well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
Randomize
