shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
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