I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
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