I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
drinking out of a sandbucket again
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
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