Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Randomize
