____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
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