i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Randomize
