it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
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