he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
Current dream situation- Gordon Ramsey is my Uber driver and he's hauling around a backseat filled with chocolate covered açai berries. I'm good for eternity.
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
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