Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
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