But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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