so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
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