I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
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