The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
Randomize
