I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
Randomize
