You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
Randomize
