this beer tastes like vomit already
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
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