I got chris browned last night
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
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