Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
Showing up at the grocery store at 5am to have the clerk sprint to the condom cabinet waiving the keys because you told him to hurry it was an emergency
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
Randomize
