does your mom think i'm crazy? i just realized i played both the gay dad and the ex-jew card tonight. i blame the wine
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
Randomize
