There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
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