Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
Randomize
