I think i peed on brittanys purse
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
Randomize
