we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
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