yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
Randomize
