Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
Randomize
