Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
Randomize
