My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
Kristen just told everyone at the bar that I've got a huge dick, now Brittany is giving me the eye. What is the opposite of FML?
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
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