What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
Randomize
