Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
Randomize
