I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
Randomize
