Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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