...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
Randomize
