but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
Randomize
