He had one of those small greek statue penises
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
Randomize
