AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
Randomize
