Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
Randomize