and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
I love how my cats smell like pot.
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
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