This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
Randomize
