guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
Randomize
