I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
Randomize
