So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
Randomize
