we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
It's no shave November. This is our time.
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
Randomize
