butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
It was my first time buying condoms at the liquor store... I was nervous and there were quite a few people, so I tried to do it as quickly and quietly as possible. When I got to the Indian cashier, he took one look at them and said loudly, "Ohhh you gonna get it on tonight, ah?!"
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
A girl just asked me if we had pregnancy tests and a coworker had to stop me from telling her I was a pregnancy test. THAT is why I don't drink at work.
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
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