I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
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