I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
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