I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
Randomize
