How the fuck did you go into work today? You are a better man than I. I couldn't even show up to being unemployed on time.
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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