Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

Sorry shep_loves_beer hasn't picked any favorites yet.

ADVERTISEMENT

(845): View more from New York

I feel like our house is getting pulled over.

Fav 15 1364 1665
share tweet
(254): View more from Texas

oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.

Fav 26 1006 3925
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(706): View more from Georgia

I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.

Fav 83 18221 2405
share tweet
(916): View more from California

Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.

Fav 26 7060 1339
share tweet
(608): View more from Wisconsin

Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add

Fav 6 3336 1063
share tweet
(515): View more from Iowa

nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying

Fav 3 1899 904
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(330): View more from Ohio

Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?

Fav 8 1830 955
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(607): View more from New York

You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.

(607): View more from New York

That can't be good for your liver!

(1-607): View more from New York

Thanks for caring mom.

Fav 0 30 10
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(480): View more from Arizona

He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.

Fav 0 44 112
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT