Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
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