No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
Randomize
