Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
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