no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
Just woke up to Siri reminding me that i need to kill the giant orange spider in my room, because it's sorcery and witchcraft is sacrilegious. Did you give me LSD again!?!??!
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
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