im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
Randomize
