Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
Randomize
