i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
Found half of a five day old piece of pizza behind my dresser. Apparently it was drunkenly set there and got knocked down. It was such a happy reminder of last weekend.
I found a cheeseburger next to my tub once. It's there to shame you, but it always just makes me feel more awesome.
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize
