You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
Randomize
