their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
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