i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
Im part way to drunk.
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
Terrible idea I love it
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
